While some sins are quite easy to overlook there are some habits that will completely pull your relationship apart at the seams and before you know it you’re on your way to splitsville.

If you find yourself or your partner displaying any of these habits there is no reason to panic. Acknowledgment and a desire to change is the first step on the road to victory. That said here are the five habits that you should be aware of.

Criticism

Criticism destroys the trust that your partner has placed in you by letting down his/her boundaries and allowing you in. Criticism is the act of speaking negatively about your partner’s flaws and mistakes. This is especially crushing if you never compliment you partner on their positive characteristics.

With men criticism takes on another dimension. Men may feel criticized even when there is no evidence of anything negative being said. Men, and this by no means include all men, need to accomplish things on their own. They will only ask for help if they feel they need it. Women on the other hand show their love and support by offering to assist.

When a woman offers unsolicited advice or support some men interpret this as criticism and will react as though they were criticized.

Failure to forgive

Holding on to past mistakes and reminding your partner of them every time you are upset is a surefire way to create resentment in your partner and push your relationship to an ultimate end. Forgiveness means to completely exonerate your partner from the mistakes made and move on as if it never happened. This is the way God forgives us and it is how he expects us to forgive others.

Furthermore, forgiveness is not only beneficial for your partner. Forgiveness releases you from pent up feelings of hurt and resentment, brings healing and makes it easier for you to love your partner as you should.

Failure to apologize when wrong

Saying that you’re sorry when you did something wrong is a way to acknowledge to your partner that you messed up and that you are truly sorry that you caused him/her pain. When you fail to say that you are sorry your partner will quickly get the message that you just do not care and may use this as a reason to move on to someone else.

Trying to control one’s partner

If guilt, belittling, rage, threats, withdrawal are used in your relationship in order to control the reactions of the other person then there is a control freak in the relationship. There is no gender bias when it comes to control although men and women may use different tools to keep their partners under control. Acknowledge if you have a problem with needing to be the one in control or talk with your partner if he/she is the one with the problem before this habit destroys the relationship.

Lies

One lie can quickly snowball into a trail of lies to cover up that first lie. There is also the possibility of that one lie developing into habitually lying to your partner. Lies once discovered destroys trust, the glue that holds relationships together. Lying by omission is just as destructive as distorting the truth and should be avoided.

Although lying may seem like a difficult habit to break when faced with the possibility of losing a valued partner telling the truth becomes more appealing. Choosing the right time and sincere remorse for any misdeeds may help to secure forgiveness and restore trust.

These five habits will destroy a relationship but the good news is that with a sincere desire to change these negative habits can be transformed into something positive. True love and the right partner is all that is needed to spur the desire to make the transformation.

You gave him your card with your email, mobile, office, Facebook and twitter and he said he will call. Now it’s been two days and you’ve not heard from him. Could it be that you’ve misread the attraction?

Quite often women attach too much significance to the all important call and when it men fail to deliver they begin to question their worth. While there may be reasonably valid reasons (at least in the mind of the man) for not calling women fail to consider those and immediately conclude the worst.

Here are some reasons why men won’t call starting first with the positive.

He does not want to appear overly anxious

Some men will argue that once a man is interested there is no stopping him. He will pursue that woman without rhyme or reason. That may be so for some while others will decide to play it cool so as not to appear too needy. This is a natural instinct for most men and it has nothing to do with who you are as woman. In fact most women are relieved to find out that this is the reason that some men won’t immediately call even after an excellent first date. The key word here is relieved, not necessarily happy.

He is busy

When a man finally calls, perhaps after a few days and says that he has been busy women may not believe this and certainly that thought may never even have crossed their minds. Fact is, when a woman said that she’s been busy to another person as the reason that she has not called it could be that there are more to it than her just being busy. For men, busy means simply that, he’s been busy. Men are really that simple. It does not mean that you have not been on his mind, the timing may just not have been right to call you.

He did not feel the connection and does not want to pursue the relationship

Of course the entire situation could be as bad as women dreamed it could be in that the man just did not feel the connection. Instead of refusing to take your card while you were on the date or calling as he promised and leveling with you, he may have taken the easy way out and decided not to call.

If this is the case then you are better off in the long run accepting this fact and moving on. Do not allow this to negatively impact your future dates or finding the person who is right for you.

If you do receive a call that is later than you expected do not go with your natural feminine instinct to launch an attack on him for not calling. He may or may not reveal his reasons for the delay but if he seems genuinely interested, his reason for not calling is not important enough to immediately sabotage a potentially good relationship.

This means that if he does call or if you decide to call him take heed of the following:

1.       Do not take the call or call him if you are upset.

2.       Do not interrogate someone you have dated once or just a handful of times about their reasons for not calling.

3.       Do not offer favors to get in his good graces.

4.       Do not raise negative characteristics or negatives things about the date.

Instead, keep the conversation bright and airy and focus on the positive things that you enjoyed on the date. Thank him for calling and let him know that you enjoyed his company.

All in all if it does not work out it takes trial and error to finally find that perfect one. The important thing is to know that you will find someone and keep your self- assurance while you search.

You’re Always Critical

Women who are always negative and critical of their man will drive them away. Men need your admiration; it is what motivates them to do more. Criticism on the other hand will raise their defenses. Sure they do things that you cannot help but point out but do you also point out the positive things that they do?

Come up with a plan to highlight the positive things that your partner does and follow through until it becomes a natural thing for you to do. Once you do this you can gently encourage him to meet your needs by pointing out small things he can do for you and praise him for doing so.

You’re Unresponsive in bed

Men need to be sexually fulfilled and part of that fulfillment is having you fulfilled. If you have not joined your partner in the sexual experience for him it might as well not have happened. Find ways to be as inviting and as much a part of the experience as your partner even if it means communicating some things to him before the act. If you like to be touched a certain way, let him know. It will increase the enjoyment for the both of you.

There you have it, five things that you are probably doing right now that is probably driving your man into the arms of another woman. If you identify with any of these points, sit yourself down and take an objective look at yourself. Make a list of things that you can do to counteract these habits and prepare for an open discussion with your partner. Soon, you’ll be on your way to a more positive you and hopefully a much stronger relationship.

Most couples start out loving and being so passionate about each other to such an extent that little habits and flaws go unnoticed. If they are observed, passion makes them tolerable. A few months after the passion abates the flaws become glaringly obvious. No one person is perfect and we all have to live with the less than perfect attributes of our loved ones. There are some traits we as women may exhibit that will put a wedge in our relationships and drive men away.

If you find yourself exhibiting one or any of these traits, I admonish you to not be discouraged by them. You can take the revelation as an opportunity for open discussion with your partner in order to identify the degree to which he may be or not be affected by it.  That said let us now identify these five habits.

Extreme Neediness

Men welcome the opportunity to be our knights in shining armors. In fact, they thrive on it and while their egos are boosted when they step in and save us they love independent women who are not constantly obsessed with their every action. A relationship takes commitment and some effort on your part but it should never be your sole purpose. Men can smell a needy woman a mile away and they will turn around and run in the opposite direction as fast and as far away as they can.

How do you know if you are too needy? If you exhibit any of these traits:

• Excessive calls, emails or other forms of communication to the object of your desire.
• Constant need to know where he is and what he is up to.
• Dependence on his presence for your happiness.
• Making him so much a part of your life that nothing else matters.

Needing your partner is normal but when your happiness and who you are as a person is dependent on one person then that need borders on desperation and should be checked.

Lack of Confidence

If you are constantly obsessing about your weight, comparing yourself to other women, questioning his love and all the other things we women worry and fuss about then you are probably pushing him away. We all have areas where we could use some work, that’s fine, but obsessing over them is unattractive. Play up your positive points and stop beating yourself down.

One man confessed that the reason he married his wife is because of her confidence. She is not the most beautiful woman but when she walked into the restaurant where he met her she turned heads because of the manner in which she carried herself. After his first conversation with her he knew she was the one even though marriage was the furthest thing from his mind.

Sloppiness

Some time ago I wrote about men needing an attractive spouse and women responded to say that it is shallow. It’s not, it is a fact! Sloppiness in your appearance will give some men license to stray and walk right out of the relationship. Does it mean that you have to continuously look like a beauty queen? No!

Simply taking some time out for hygiene, making your hair look pretty, shaving from time to time, donning something pretty and feminine on occasion is enough to keep the spice in the relationship. I have made it a habit to take time out before my husband arrives home from work to check my clothing and spritz on some scent so he sees someone who took the effort just for him when he arrives home. Of course after seeing pretty dressed up ladies in the office all day and coming home to an equally beautiful wife at the end of the day lights his fire.

Unfortunately, some women  get into relationships with men who are afraid of making a commitment. Understand however, that there is a difference between real fear and just reluctance or outright refusal to commit.

A commitment phobe will have you convinced that he does indeed want to get married but as soon as your relationship grows closer he does things to push you away. He may have a history of relationships like yours that ended suddenly for no apparent reason and he leaves a trail of devastation behind him.

The difference between a commitment phobe and a man who just does not want to commit because of a host of other reasons is that for the commitment phobe, real fear is involved. Like other phobic disorders, fear overrules all rational thoughts or behaviors.

The commitment phobic male views commitment as a loss of freedom with no chance to escape. The behavior itself can extend beyond a romantic relationship too but it is only really apparent in the relationship.

Signs Of A Commitment Phobe

• A history of short relationships that ends for no reason.
• Pursuit of unattainable partners.
• They pursue you aggressively in the beginning of the relationship and might even raise the idea of marriage early on.
• They will do things to sabotage the relationship forcing you to walk away, including being unfaithful or disappearing for days on end.
• They act like you don’t matter to them and promise to change when you threaten to leave.
• They may not acknowledge you as their partner to friends and family and find excuses not to meet yours.
• They have a history of short term jobs and platonic relationships.
• They exclude you from all aspects of their lives.
• They cut you off whenever you raise the topic about the status of your relationship.
• They make excuses to avoid spending time with you.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a commitment phobe it does not mean that you should walk away. Like all relationships it needs work, only in your case it may take a little bit extra work and it is up to you to decide if your partner is worth it.

If you decide to stay you will need you to:

• First determine if he sincerely wants to change.
• Help him seek counseling in some cases.
• Give him the space until he recognizes that you are his “safe place.”
• Recognize that this is no fault of yours and not feel rejected by his actions.
• Hold him accountable for his actions towards you.
• Ensure that all your actions are to help him get over his fear and not motivated by your desire to bring him to the altar. Make sure he knows this.
• Be willing to leave if you have tried your best and it still didn’t work out.

Due to the differences between the sexes conflicts and sometimes heartbreak results. Commitment phobia is just one more obstacle to overcome although it can be heartbreaking and maddening.

Once again, I am forced to recommend Men Made Easy to help you overcome this dilemma. Cheers to your upcoming nuptials!

Listen to the words of Kara Oh in this video now, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Have confidence my dear friend that you can have the relationship that is filled with love and intimacy.

When sexual attraction dwindles or the relationship itself has progressed to a stage when both partners are comfortable with each other and have to now resolve every day problems together it is then the differences are quite visible.

Speaking from the point of view of a woman, I know personally that women like to solves by communicating, sometimes women will discuss problems with a network of friends in order to figure things out. Men on the other hand, prefer to solve problems independently and once they believe it is solved, they won’t bring it up again.

Sometimes a problem is resolved in a man’s mind when it is nowhere near resolved in the mind of his partner. In cases like these the dominant partner usually has the final say as to whether the issue is put to rest or if it warrants further discussion.

Men and women need to understand these fundamental differences and accept them, more than that they need to stop trying to make their partners into something they just are not wired to be. That said, it is important to add that while there are differences in the way we approach relationships and communication the sexes can co-exist in an extremely blissful state if they can adjust their own individual traits to meet the needs of each other.

Face it, as women there are things we will never reveal to our men. Unless of course we get to a really comfortable time in our relationship. There may be things that you need your other half to take notice of and deep down you will like for him to figure it out without having to say it.

Men are quite similar in that respect. Even more so, I might add because unless it is somehow related to sex he will hardly ever voice his needs. In the book Men Made Easy, you will not only be able to meet his needs and make him fall even more in love with you for it but you will also be able to get him to fulfill your needs by using your god given feminine power. This in itself will completely turn your relationship around since you will both have your needs met.

Here are some great topics covered in Men Made Easy:

• Why some of the things you do to try and attract a man are actually exactly what causes him to lose interest in you – that following the wrong advice causes you to end up being alone and wondering what happened.

• Why talking to your girlfriends about your relationship problems is the worst way to fix your problems because most of them have only their own personal experiences or the same wrong advice you’ve been reading, to guide them – thus reinforcing ineffective behavior and thinking.

• How you have all the power over men, that they like it that way, and how you’ve missed out on some amazing opportunities for love.

• How to use your smile to get him to do back flips for you, fall in love with you, and want to marry you because the thought of losing you would be too horrible to consider.

• How simple it is to give him what he wants, which, you will learn, will give you exactly what you want – and how great it will make you feel.

• Why knowing when and how to ask the right question will cause him to share what’s buried deep in his heart, so that you get the intimacy you want and he discovers you are the source of something he’s never allowed himself to feel before.

• When to know that he’s in love with you because of the woman you have become, a woman who understands her power as a woman and how to use it so he and you both get what you’ve wanted all along.

Here is a link to  Men Made Easy which includes audio, 20 minutes or coaching and the downloadable ebook.

Does it mean that if you are not beautiful or have the capacity to retain your youthful appearance that your spouse will no longer show any interest? No! It means that you need to be the woman that you were when your married your spouse. Let me explain. Remember your courting days? At that time I am sure that you always tried to look your best for him then. Never a hair out of place and always well dressed. Back then, you cared about any extra pounds you gained.

It is important to try as a woman to look good for your husband. When this emotional need is met your spouse feels fulfilled. Your physical appearance makes your husband feels good.

I will share what happens in my household as an example. I am a work at home mom and sometimes that means leaving some chores undone until very late in the evening. I leave my home office at four and start preparing dinner, helping out with homework and catching up on chores. I usually expect my husband home at 6:00 pm so in spite of where I am with my chores I leave it so that I can quickly take a shower and change my clothing before he arrives. Is it inconvenient? Absolutely, but I love the look in his eyes whenever I open the door and welcome him home. You know what? That look more than makes up for any inconvenience that I would have felt in leaving the chores. Another benefit is that once he unwinds he is more than happy to pitch in.

Ladies, do not underestimate the power of looking good for your man. It takes very little to do so and the reward is priceless.

I remember dating a guy in college who I really liked. He came on to me first and raised the topic of marriage a few months after dating when it no where near entered my mind. Eventually I caught on to that idea and I really believed that our relationship was going somewhere. Until one day he just stopped calling. Nothing! He gave no indication that something was wrong and did not even have the guts to break things off with me.

I am thankful he did because I am very happy and thankful for the man that I eventually married. In retrospect though, looking back at that relationship back in college I can  now understand what went wrong.

Kara Oh in the book Men Made Easy has completely captured the mind of a man and boy did she get it right. Over and over again I have proven her right, not only with my husband but with male friends, my father and coworkers. It boggles my mind that I did not observe these things before. Now I observe things everywhere I go.

For instance, what can you do to immediately  capture the interest of any guy? Think about that. Maybe you are doing things in your relationship that is turning off the romance.

This book is so revealing but simple that you will wonder why you never thought of these things before.

Whether you are having problems with your relationship or not this book takes you into the minds of men as nothing ever could.

Go check out the complete guide at Men Made Easy.